Stuck

I feel like I am stuck in a hard spot in the area of parenting Bryce. He is amazingly headstrong and very sensitive to lack of food and sleep. But he hates to sleep, going to sleep that is. Here's an example bc I really needs prayer and advice bc I really want to train him as God would have me (I have asked Him and He has been silent this far. So maybe he can speak through one of you). Today Julia had an eye MD appt and he stayed at a friend's. We got home at 2 ish - he's had no nap and J and B go play pirates for a while. He wanted juice, which I got him and added some immune booster since he has a cough and that ultimately set him off bc he didn't want that in it. He started his fit so I sent him to his room to have it and told him he could come out when he was calm. We go round and round with this bc he REFUSES to calm down but just works himself into a FRENZY people. I mean a total out of control screaming thrashing FRENZY! 30 min later same thing happening but I feel I must hold my ground and "win" and not let him out untili he is calm since that is what I stated in the beginning. I go back every 5 or so minutes to remind him what will get him out of his room. Continues to fit and scream. So then I try another tactic, holding him firmly through the fit and telling him positive things, " i love you, you're ok..." He hates it and screams for me not to hold him. He finally falls asleep at 5 pm (great) bc is exhausted- let him sleep for 45 min and when I wake him we continue right where we left off. Ugh... Jason comes home and he gets another round of discipline which just makes him escalate. I know he is exhausted but at what point do you let your kids act however bc they are so exhausted or hold your ground?? It is frustrating bc I dont feel like I know how to get through to him. I cant control life for him to make it perfect - great sleep, never hungry, etc. The kid always wakes early (before 7am) and severely resists sleep of any sort. I desperately need a Biblical 911 Nanny call!!